R. and B. May 27, 2008
Rugged and Budgie.
That’s my new nickname, according to Jim.
Going on day 6 for work. Loving it, but exhausted.
Still no uniform and no word from UML.
-sigh-
Hope my days off are good.
Good News! May 22, 2008
So I got a call from Greg Jones today…background check is clear!!! I start work tomorrow with Tommy. Then I’m possibly working Saturday with Sharon, and from there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. So far it looks like I have Thursday and Fridays off. Which isn’t to bad if you ask me. I’m so pumped to be finally starting! Haven’t gotten my uniforms yet but that’s ok. I should be getting fitted with Sharon on Saturday or something. Cool beans! So excited!
For Once, A Smile. May 20, 2008
Got my grades today from Middlesex:
English Comp II: A
History After 1865: A
American Lit II: A-
Psychology 101: A
Math Modeling: B
I’m so glad that I did so well this semester, I am really proud of myself. Little disappointed that I didn’t get an A in Math, but I did miss a test so it’s understandable. Tomorrow I’m going to MCC to get my official transcripts and then driving over to the UML Admission office to drop off a letter that will reactive my application, along with the transcripts. I really really hope that I will get into UML for the fall. It’s not that I dislike MCC, I just really want to get a move on with my degree. I’m already a year behind in languages and one semester behind in history. I finally decided on American Studies: Pop Culture and Art, with a Studio Art minor. My minor may change, but that’s not too big of a deal. I’m really happy that I’m getting a start on life (again). Just have to wait now for work to start (soon I hope!) and to hear back from Admissions.
The bridal shower wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be…although it was horrifically boring. Not to mention that Melissa’s sister kind of scare me. They all look like Barbie dolls and talk with those high-pitched valley girl voices. My aunt’s friend Anita said she would like to smack those girls. Did I mention I LOVE Anita? Haha.
I bought two adorable dresses for Sarah and Rachael’s graduation. For Rach’s I’m wearing this cute black dress with tiny white polka dots on it. I bought these wonderful white pumps with black bows on to match. I know, does not seem like my style at all but here is one thing that will surprise you all: I love to get dressed up. I find it so much fun…probably because I wear nothing but old, ripped jeans and t-shirts that are too small for me. But anyways, its modest but still short. And the straps allow me to show off my tattoo (which I’m sure my old high school teachers will love)! For Sarah’s I got something more casual, seeing as the graduation isn’t in a church like Rach’s. It’s this cute print dress, very summery and almost looks Indian (like, Middle Eastern not Native American). Think I’m going to wear old prom shoes with that sun dress.
I’m having a blast taking care of Duncan…I really missed the little guy! Mum loves him and even Dad doesn’t mind him. The dog on the other hand wants to eat him, big surprise there.
I got attacked by black flies last weekend. My leg is so itchy…this is not fun at all.
I can’t think of anything else important going on right now, so I’ll end this hear. I’ll let you know when I here back from UML on whether or not I got in. *fingers crossed*
Oh, and if you couldn’t guess…I miss Andy. A whole freakin lot.
Not simply a song, but my feelings. May 18, 2008
Where are you and I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
I Miss You.
The Dumbest Things. May 17, 2008
My mother and I fight about the dumbest shit sometimes. It’s never about big issues like drinking or staying out until 3am. No, it is always over the smallest most insignificant things. My cousin’s bridal shower is tomorrow and I wasn’t going because I was supposed to start work. Since the wonderful federal government hasn’t finished my background check yet I can’t start work on Sunday. So my mom seems to think I can (and want) to go to the shower now. I simply told her no, I wasn’t going. What part of I hate getting dressed up, talking with women I don’t even know and watching Melissa open a bunch of gifts doesn’t she understand? Parties like these contain everything I loathe. It’s bad enough that I have to sit through the damn wedding with a fake smile and watch all the happy people gush over the bride and groom. Why must I be tormented further by going to another quote-unquote celebration? The idea of matrimonial happiness sickens me, to say the very least. And yes, you call can me bitter. Because you know what? I am. I’m bitter.
Will We Ever Learn? May 14, 2008
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time passing?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time ago?
Where have all the young girls gone?
Gone for husbands everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time passing?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time ago?
Where have all the husbands gone?
Gone for soldiers everyone
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time passing?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time ago?
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Laugh through the Tears. May 13, 2008
I think nothing can sum up today better than a song by Carbon Leaf.
“Call my friends to share some wine
To share some laughs, and last goodbyes
My photographs of these years
Will make me laugh through the tears
What are the odds, what are the odds?
This ends and we don’t meet again
What are the odds, What are the odds?
That I will miss your smile
Take awhile! Take awhile! Take care and
Fly away and see the world
Take awhile! Take awhile! Take time and
If you need rest, I’ll keep your nest
Changeless
Let fondness be our souvenir
To keep it warm, we’ll keep it near
Otherwise with no heart to recall…
A memory’s just a memory after all
I will not leave this pulse alone
Though it may take the long way home
I will not wait until the end
For my applause for you my friend
What are the odds, what are the odds?
This ends and we don’t meet again
What are the odds, what are the odds?
This ends and we won’t meet again
What are the odds, What are the odds?
That I have missed your smile
Take awhile! Take awhile! Take care and
Fly away and see the world
Take awhile! Take awhile! Take time and
If you need rest, I’ll keep your nest
Changeless”
Visiting Memories Long Since Past. May 12, 2008
Today before finals I visited the old LC. Went to the front desk and talked to Kerri’s mom for a few, then headed up the old corridor to Mrs. Delaney’s room. We talked for a good half hour, which was great. I caught her up in the happenings of my life and she said I looked really happy for once. Which I suppose makes me think now, am I really happy? Have I finally gotten everything straightened out? Maybe this time, I have things right. Maybe focusing on my schoolwork, writing and art and spending endless amounts of time with my friends is what I needed; rather than an ever-distracting relationship. Although being in those halls, talking about the NYC trip and prom made my heart stir up some old emotions. My brain is in the process of stomping those thoughts out. He’s leaving for basic in two days, and he has a new girl. But whatever, I’m over it right? Right? Right. This requires a call to Socrates. Anyways, back to LC. I went back to the office to see Gilpin, then even Mrs. DeMarco and Doherty. They were all happy for me but I could do so much as fake a smile. Let’s face it, I’m not as happy as I could be. I NEED this Alaska trip to happen faster and truly discover myself and my country. But once again, I divert from my story. After seeing the teachers and whatnot I skipped (not literally) down to the lunch room where I promptly hugged Rachael, sat down and took my place amoung the boys as the older, experienced, educated woman of the group. I know Peter couldn’t keep his eyes off me and Joe even went so far as to say he missed me. It was rather touching, if not slightly disturbing. Haha.
It’s amazing really. This time last year I was graduating high school. Now I’m done my first year of college. It’s insane. I’ve grown and changed so much. It’s been a turbulent year but I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. They’ve made me, me. And I wouldn’t go ahead and trade myself now would I? I don’t think so darlings, I do not think so.
“When she goes, shes gone.
If she stays, she stays here.
The girl does what she wants to do.
She knows what she wants to do.
And I know Im fakin it,
Im not really makin it.”
-S&G: Fakin’ It
Photography Shoot May 10, 2008
Just a few pics that my friend Riley and I took together …he basically just wanted more stuff for his portfolio, no biggie. Dunno if he’s even going to use my pics but it doesn’t really matter. I’m happy just to model (if that’s even what you want to call it) haha.
